NEW ADDRESS
14 years ago
it's been a while.
i'm reallllllllllly bad at keeping this thing updated. it's bad. seriously. bad.
1) i should really stop making postseason pics. it has not gone well for me the past two years. although i did pick half of the LCS matchups correctly. (still not sold on the rays. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a84BrIfKbtw&feature=related) but enough of that.
2) i decided i really should keep better care of this thing. it's like a fish. it can survive on nothing for weeks (months, whatever) but it's alot more exciting when kept fed.
3) i was sitting in economics class today and found that the guy next to me was what we call a neck beard. for those who are unfamiliar with the neckbeard, it's a most uncomfortable phenomenon. it's a beard, often of great length which, for the most part ignores the face and is only on the neck. now, if the neck beard wasn't bad enough, he smelled like ramen water. the water, from ramen noodles. i eventually had to move, but then found that the entire business building smelled like ramen water. twas terrible. but it was at that point that i decided that everythought that pops into my head should be documented. as such, i am declaring this weekend, maybe saturday tim's grand "liveblogging fiesta-cular." (combination of fiesta, and spectacular) wherein, all of my thoughts (maybe not all but a large percentage) will be documented. it should be fun. or terrifying. or both.
there's only one october!
MLB postseason baby.
picks.
and logic behind them.
AMERICAN LEAGUE
division series.
Chicago White Sox (89-74)
vs
Tampa bay Devil rays (97-65)
pick: white sox over rays in 4. i think that as good a story as the devil rays have been this year, i think the momentum the white sox have, as well as the experience in the postseason, on that line i think i have to give the managerial advantage to ozzie guillen, he's been there. done that. joe maddon, not as far as i know. i think the devil rays will put up a good fight, but in the end i don't see them winning.
Boston Red Sox (95-67)
v
Anaheim Angels (100-62)
Pick: and i know this is going to seem biased, but i've gotta pick the sox in 5. game one will be a duel between aces lester and lackey, over which i believe lester will triumph. game two i think could be a wash, with matsuzaka on the mound. game three, even with beckett hurt you can't bet against beckett. 4 is lester again. and then game 5 everyone goes. not to mention that history is on the sox side. granted they didn't have texiera, but the halos bats have a tendency to go flat in the postseason. managerial advantage, goes to francona. he seems to rally the troops no matter how beat up they are.
ALCS.
Boston Red Sox
v
Chicago White sox
Pick: damn it i seem super biased. but again i'm picking boston over chicago. i think beckett will be healthy enough to go at least twice, and you can't bet against beckett. i think it'll go 6 games with boston dropping two but coming out on top. i think the pitching of the sox can hold the white sox hitters down, and the sox bats can beat up on chicago's pitching.
AL Champ: Boston.
NLDS
CHicago Cubs (97-64)
vs
LA Dodgers (84-78)
Pick: unfortunately i've got to go with the cubs here. even with manny the dodgers find themselves on top of the weakest division in baseball. the cubs battled all year for their spot on the top and i don't see them going down easy. i'm givin it to the cubs in 3. joe torre and lou piniella is a very difficult matchup to give an advantage to. i think torre's got a better management style, but piniellas got the better team.
Philadelphia Phillies (92-70)
vs
Milwaukee Brewers (90-72)
Pick: shocking shocking i'm picking the phillies. the best thing the brewers have going for them is CCsabathia, and he's proven to not be the big game pitcher his teams would have hoped (see 07 playoffs) i think the phillies will be strong and beat the brewers in 3 games. Charlie Manuel, is an easy pick over dale sveum. i've gotta give the advantage to manuel/
NLCS:
Phillies
v
Cubs
Pick: i can't see this series going any less than 7 games. i think it will come down to who can come up with clutch hitting and pitching. last year (i don't know if i published my picks, but i picked the phillies to clean up, but unfortunately they found themselves swept out of the postseason. i'm not sure who i'm leaning towards. i think the cubs have the pitching advantage. i think the phils have the bats. i think when it comes down to it i've gotta go with the cubs. i can't see the phils holding up against chicago pitching.
NL Champs
Cubs.
World Series.
Boston
v
Chicago
: 7 games. the cubs will hand terry francona his first world series game loss (he currently sits at 8-0 in two fall classics.) the cubs have waited for 100 years to win. and they can wait for another. i think the sox play a different ball game, and wind up taking the series in seven.
it seems super biased, but i think even a 75% josh beckett is better than alot of pitchers out there, lester has been dominant, and i think matsuzaka will be bailed out by the 3 man rotation, and the long relief combo of byrd and wakefield. i think the sox have a solid rotation, and assuming the bats stay strong and don't fade (as they have this season a few times) i think the sox have got the repeat.
there's only one october.
scooters, vacations, fall.
helloes and high fives.
first and foremost, let me apologize to the one reader that checks this bad boy out, i've abandoned this thing like a child who gets a goldfish at the fair, but quickly tires of it. i have pretty much no excuse, i guess i just didn't feel like blogging. whatevs.
secondly, let me say this: THIS BLOG HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH SCOOTERS, VACATIONS, OR FALL. i just really like that those are the examples blogger gives me as potential labels for the post.
now for some things that have been up in my mind:
i saw a billboard for a mcdonalds egg mcmuffin that had a picture of an egg, a thought bubble, and an egg mcmuffin and the text that said "every egg's dream" and i thought to myself- that's a pretty morbid dream for an egg. i have a hard time imagining that an egg goes to bed and dreams of being tortured by mcdonalds and then eaten by some random stranger. i don't know, maybe that was just me.
second thought: do they really need to advertise milk? i mean it's not really like there's a strong competitor.
thirdly: they say it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile. . . i have 2 problems with this 1) i think it takes the same muscle. and 2) in today's super healthy excercise focused society- shouldn't they be encouraging us to frown??
i'd feel bad
i'd feel bad about taking sooo long between posts, but i'm pretty sure no one reads this thing anyway.
i've realized recently that i am afraid of things that most people aren't and i probably shouldn't actually be afraid of. the biggest example i can think of is birds. i told someone this once and they were like "right because they could peck your eyes out" that is NOT why i am afraid of birds. fact: birds do not take baths. they splash in the water that sits out and gets other bird germs and such on them. a bird bath in the human world is basically sitting in a giant toilet bowl. but do birds care? no. they don't. now by no means do i consider myself a germaphobe but certain degrees of uncleanliness bothers me. this is not my main problem with birds, however, it does contribute to it. my problem with birds is that for them, everywhere (and anywhere) is a bathroom. they could be in a tree, or on a sidewalk, or a phone line, or in the air! the problem is they poo ANYWHERE. bird poo is full of diseases and it scares me.
crap, i just had a really good thought but now it is forgotten.
damn it. it's way gone. ehhh. it'll come back to me.
a story of pants
hey readers, if you're out there!
sorry, it's been a while. truth is i spent most of february out with the flu, but today i return to the blog world!
today i went to walmart. no real intention of purchasing things in mind, but as i looked at clothes i realized that i could do well with a couple of pairs of shorts. now most of the time i buy shorts, i go on cheapness. which typically means thrift store, but this, this was a special day, i look for the cheapest pants, and say to myself, self, if i'm shopping for pants and random stuff, i should probably go cheap. well the cheapest pants at walmart are those with elastic wastebands, which some people might have issues with but i am not one of such peoople. my pant size is somewhere between 38-40. so i look at the 40-42 sized ones and they only had them in a whitish beige, and i am not a huge fan of whitish beige pants so i look at the 36-38 size ones, and they look like they could fit. so i try them on over the pants i'm currently wearing and they fit, so i buy them. later i shower and get dressed and then put the pants on. now the weirdest thing is the pants that are a size smaller than what i usually wear are still big on me.
and that is my tale of pants.
watch your back, reality tv. . .
tribou is coming.
i've finally figured out how to take down reality tv.
it took me years of plotting, but i finally figured it out.
here's my plan. i'm going to go to whoever creates these mindless pieces of crap.
i'm going to get my own show.
and then, after a few episodes of winging it, to get their trust.
and then after a period i'd start writing scripts.
that's right, i would completely script an "unscripted" television show,
and then it would completely crumble the system, and then shift my endeavours to every other reality show.
watch your back reality tv.
watch your tiny evil, destructive, back. i'm coming.
a holiday thought, late in coming.
so the other day was groundhog day. which first and foremost is the biggest waste of a holiday of the year, and secondly is a crock. i don't know if this is original, but really why do we trust our seasons to a rodent, who's afraid of his own shadow.
and where were the monkeys?
Superbowl commercial scoreboard
The scale: Badass- Hit- OK – Miss – BT MISS- huh?
commercials were graded on like 3 or 4 criteria, all of which come out of my head. if i remember what i used it was a) whether or not i thought it was funny, b) if it made me want the product or 3) originality. it's pretty straight forward badass are the best, hits are pretty good, ok are good but not great misses are ones that aren't good. or great. BTmiss stands for big time miss which were the ones that sucked so bad i wanted to cry.
1. Miss- bud light. Fire breathing
2. Miss- audi
3. OK- diet pepsi max
4. BTmiss- salesgenie.com
5. Ok- bud light hidden bud light
6. Miss- underarmour
7. OK- bridgestone
8. Ok- Doritos
9. OK- wanted movie
10. Ok – g2
11. Ok- go daddy
12. Ok- dell
13. Hit- Fedex pigeons
14. Ok- cars.com
15. Ok- tide stain pen
16. Hit- Budweiser horses (rocky training)
17. HIT – IRON MAN (because it looks awesome)
18. Miss- corolla badgers
19. Hit- leather heads (looks cool)
20. BTmiss – garmin napoleon commercial
21. Miss- career builder heart
22. Ok- life water
23. Huh? – GMC never say never
24. Ok- bud light mencia
25. Ok- narnia
26. Ewwwww – planters
27. Hit – Dwayne wade cbarkley
28. Ok – pepsi timberlake
29. Weird not in a good way – Doritos rat
30. Hit- NFL get your story straight
31. HALFTIME- you can’t really go too far wrong with tom petty. Actually one of the better superbowl halftime performances of recent years. Besides he didn’t decide to try and play someone young and cool’s song, he stuck with his stuff which works. Good work tp.
32. Miss - ING- coffee
33. Good not great – cars.com
34. BT miss- sales genie.com pandas
35. Meh- shaq vitamin water jockey
36. Good not great- bud light wheel
37. lame- Icebreakers gum
38. miss- bridgestone
39. ok- career builder firefly wishing commercials
40. miss- lame ass Hyundai add
41. pretty cool looking – Disney pixar’s wall e
42. BT miss- etrade. Babies buying stocks Fggg
43. OK- BUD LIGHT flying (sorry caps lock)
44. Meh- Nfl ad-
45. Preaow- jack in the box
46. HELL YEAH!- good to see the cavemen back in their rightful position. 30 second spots. . .
47. Wtf? – sunsilk crazy hair commercial
48. Hit- Coca cola fighting balloons
49. Ok? – coca cola politicians commercial? I don’t know how to feel
50. Ok- Toyota suv commercial
51. Looks bad- the adam sandler hairdresser/secret agent movie
52. BT MISS- ANOTHER ETRADE BABY COMMERCIAL
53. Miss- taco bell
54. Miss- Gatorade and dog water commercial?
55. Haha- will Ferrell bud light
56. Lame- Hyundai genesis
57. Bad bad bad- moment of truth
58. Miss- victorias secret valentines day commercial
59. Bt miss- Amp commercial. . . just plain weird
60. Stupid fox- ben Roethlisberger American idol commercial
61. THE OUTCOME. Uggh, now for the next two weeks I have to hear about how the giants shocked the world . brady was bad, bellichick made a stupid call going for it on fourth and fourteen instead of taking the safer bet field goal. That could have saved it. Here’s the thing. The giants were good but the patriots were bad. I really would have rather seen players like bruschi and seau who have played so long and deserve it so much. But tonight upsets won over inspiration.
now for some awards.
the blades of glory award for "i liked it better when i saw it anchorman" goes to the will ferrell budlight commercial
the "if i hear one more word promoting this i might go blow up fox" award is actually a tie between american idol and the sarah connor chronicles
the jon bon jovi "wait wait wait what was that supposed to be selling me?" award actually goes to the gatorade commercial with the dog? and the water? i do not understand any part of it!
the lack of information "best looking movie trailer" award goes to IRON MAN. partly because it looks awesome, partly because the trailer uses the song iron man by black sabbath.
the ny mets "we use players who lose in the playoffs" awards goes to gatorade for it's awesome g2 commercial using derek jeter and peyton manning to sling their low cal, or whatever the deal is with g-2, gatorade
the furby "wait that's not a great concept" award goes to etrade for their commercials using babies to sling stocks.
the award for "commercial that seemed like it could have been good, but then in the end just really really sucked" goes to salesgenie.com. when i saw the cartoon stuff i got really really excited, but then. . . they just totally killed that dream.
and finally the pete rose "i can't believe everyone bought this" award goes to archie manning, for sucessfully secretly fixing the superbowl so that both of his sons can be superbowl champions. you may have everyone else fooled, but not me mr. manning, not me.
well, that's my superbowl summary. hope you enjoyed.
attention fans. . . if you're out there. . .
bacon spoon, or a pizza knife
helloes. i have decided that rather than say hello multiple times when i see multiple people i will just say helloes. that saves time and effort on my part. now if only the rest of the world were that simple.
today i've realized the true meaning of the american dream. many people think of large houses and yards and white picket fences when they hear "american" and "dream in the same sentence. however, that is just not the case. the real and true american dream is to be able to eat EVERYthing placed in front of you. food, silverware, plates, everything. this is why items such as the taco salad and tostadas and breadbowl soups are so popular. because we want to eat everything. i can imagine the thought process behind breadbowls.
(for imaginations sake please pretend that these people are construction workers sitting up on a high steel beam just having finished their lunch.)
guy one: "you done with your soup?"
guy 2: yeah, but i really wish i didn't have to carry around this bowl. how was your bread?
guy 1: well as you know i really only like the insides so now i'm stuck with this kind of bowl-like piece of bread.
guy 2: wait a minute. . . are you thinking what i'm thinking.
now, the american dream is not fully fulfilled at this point. because as of right now we still cannot eat the silverware we use to eat our food. if only someone could invent the bacon spoon.
the thing is.
it's cold out here.
i don't like to complain because i feel like as a man i should be complaining about manly things like "i didn't get to go on a shark hunt" or "that puma is rolling in my turf"
but it's cold here.
here's the thing.
ladies and gentlemen the devil is out there. his name: 630AM labs.
i live in the dorms. i love it. and when i say i love it i mean that i think if i could some how rig up a shower in my car, i think i would rather live there. because any shower based out of a 2003 ford escape has got to run better than the ones in the dorm. so the dorm showers are based in a block of 3, with ONE drain between the three. so, if anything goes wrong with the shower drain, the entire block fills with water. so as a result of the idiots that live in the dorm, 1st day back drain is clogged. soooo my shower this morning was taken in about an inch of standing water, and i'm no sanitation expert, but that doesn't seem good.
now for the real topic.
i sometimes find that i feel bad for undershirts. because undershirts are usually the shirts that aren't quite good enough to make it into the starting rotation. there are a few undershirts that can occasionally be called up for a spot start, but then after that go round, they're usually sent back down to the undershirt world. it's odd that you can wear topshirts as undershirts, but rarely can you cross both sides.
i got soap in my eye during my shower, and it kind of made me forget about the pool of water that i stood in. i think my brain is slowing down. maybe i'm just trying too hard. maybe i'll take a break from the blog world.
fast cars, fortune cookies, and football.
i wish i could say the journey from albuquerque to flagstaff went as smooth as good butter on perfectly toasted bread, however comma, i can not say such. it's all freeway between abq and flg (abbreviated for MY convienience) but that doesn't mean it goes smoothly. near incident number one: as i drive down the freeway i find myself stuck behind a semi truck, going slower than i would like to. seeing a large gap in the lane next to us, i decide to pass. as i am passing the truck decides it should move over. thus resulting in my getting out of the way by drifting off the road and cranking the accelorator as fast as the dang thing would go and surviving, unscathed.
the second incident was less my fault. i once again find myself in the fast lane, and find a silver dodge truck in the less fast lane. without looking, the silver dodge starts drifting into my lane. at first it appeared he was just drifting but it quickly became clear that he was coming over. . . right. . . where. . . i. . . was. yeaaaaaaaaah, ummm not cool. so i lay on the horn, saying at first "hey nutjob, i'm here, watch out for me!" the truck did not notice this. so i smash the horn as hard as i can, and pull somewhat into the median to avoid being crushed by this rather large truck. FINALLY as i'm completely out of the lane the truck pulls in and notices me honking my horn, halfway into hte median and changes lanes again.
ugggh, driving is a bear. but i'm grateful for no accidents.
now something you might enjoy:
today my family and i went to panda express for lunch. and the meal came and went and it came time for one of my favorite treats at any chinese restaurant the fortune cookie. i could go on for a while about how fortunes aren't really fortunes, but, you've probably heard it. so anyway my mother cracks hers open and it says something like "you draw cultured and artistic people to yourself." not a fortune, but not too bad. my dad opens his and it says something along the lines of "you will find contentment, by summers end" more of a fortune than anything else i'd seen recently. so it came time for me to open mine. i open it, eat the cookie and look at the "fortune" and it says and i quote "your judgement is a little bit off" not even close to a fortune. in fact i'm pretty sure that i was just insulted by a cookie. and that doesnot sit well with me.
go pack.
chex quest, chickens, and chinese food.
god, does anyone else remember the game chex quest. it was a piece of crap game that came free in boxes of chex cereal. you were this space soldier fighting giant walking boogers, and your armor from the giant walking boogers was literally a sqauare of chex cereal. your first weapon was like a tazer spoon, followed by a tazer spork, which was more powerful than the spoontazer. and then you got guns that apparently melted boogers. hmmm. i didn't know one could melt boogers. this game was quite possibly the best game ever, except that i remember it being really really frustrating because when you found one of the guns it had like 3 shots to it and it took 3 shots to kill one of these booger aliens. but wait, wait wait. . . why on earth is a cereal clad warrior fighting giant boogers? i would think that if i were clad in a giant cereal piece i would be more concerned with the cereal, maybe that's just me though.
in the grand scale of things i think that birds are proof that god wanted some entertainment. because here's the thing about birds, they aren't smart. but they can fly. the coolest birds are the kind that you could be afraid of. chickens are pretty fun to watch.
i love chinese food, but i fear it does not share the same feelings for me. although the more i think of it it's like a tale of two places, one place i always walk out of feeling full and happy, but the other which will remain nameless but i will mention that it rhymes with "mina bar" the past two times i've eaten has made my stomach really sad. i'm a big fan of chinese food. i just wish it wasn't so expensive. i've realized that chinese buffets are inherently sketchy.
on mind reading and melons.
i'm pretty sure that if anyone ever tried to read my mind they would be sadly disappointed. i put the thoughts i have that i think are interesting out for the world of the internet to see, and the rest of the thoughts i have usually involve food, women, or tv. although i can almost guarantee that that's ninety percent of what most people think about. the only difference is that ten percent that i stick up here.
further more watermelon is the best melon. i'd have to give honeydew the number two spot.
and in third is canteloupe. is that it? are there more melons that i don't know about? who decided that a melon should be a melon?
i think the labels this website offers are awesome. for instance, the examples it gives me for this post are "scooters, vacation, fall" which incidentally maybe topics for my next post.
woo hoo.
yeah. . . about that.
i caved.
i gave in.
after many years of not having a "blog" i decided that finally i would cave in and get one.
i'm not gonna lie, don't expect much for a while.
once i get the hang of it it'll be badass but for a while it'll be thoughts like: "i can't believe it's not butter is a great name for knock off butter, but i think they really could have gotten more money out of it if they had marketed it to the generic medicine market. 'i can't believe it's not zoloft' or 'i can't believe it's not viagra.' "
you may also notice that i don't ever capitalize my i's. that is because i don't see why i gets to be soooooo much better than all the other letters. greedy bastard i.
also we (stephan linehan and i) decided that the "dibs" system should work for so many other things. think how many of the world's issues could be resolved if simple dibs had been observed. i'll give you a hint it's all of them.
well my brain is currently idea-less, so i guess i'm done.
if i can remember my password you'll hear more from me.
