day 8: it's gonna rain.

i REALLY wish that someone would have told me that before 8 days ago.

but it turns out the weather here, as unpredictable as it seems is actually fairly predictable. clear between the hours of wake up and noon. anytime between the hours of noon and bed is time for rain. now, what's not predictable is how long/intense the rain is gonna be.

i like knowing that it's going to rain at some point in the day. it used to bug me, thinking oh jeez here it comes again. now it's just like "ohp. it's raining. better take cover for 10 minutes and then get back to life."

things are good. a lot of people here seem to have lost sight of that. we get paid to work at a place that makes millions of dreams come true. we get to go for free to that place. yeah, sometimes that means waking up at 520 to get on the 600 bus to be at the park by 630. yeah, sometimes it requires standing for 7 and a half hours of your day. yeah, sometimes it involves cleaning urine, vomit, shit and blood from certain areas. yeah, sometimes it requires you to wear the most ridiculous costume you've ever seen. but damn it, you get to work in the happiest friggin place on earth. agggh. i wish you could all see what i see each day. i honestly do. i feel like if nothing else it'd put a smile on your face. even in the rain.

learning to walk again.

i've been comparing the days leading up to this experience to the days leading up to the first day of school. and in a way it was. but in another way it wasn't.
it goes back deeper than that.
today as i stood in line for the kilamanjaro safari ride at animal kingdom, i stood by a young family. and when i say young family i mean a man and his wife both in either their late 20's or early 30's and their son (who i eventually learned was 9 months old). they were friendly and talked with everyone around them. at one point the child was crying and they took him out of his stroller, and then said "he's at the point where he just wants to walk, not roll, not crawl, just walk."

and that's when i realized, yeah, this has all the makings of that first day of school, yeah, it has some other stuff but it's so much deeper than that.

i imagine it's like learning to walk for the first time (i say i imagine that because obviously, i don't remember the first). you learn to take smaller steps. you learn to stop along the way. you learn to be patient. you learn how to walk again.

i love it here. each day i realize that a little more.

here in this moment i am happy, happy.

wow.
i just got back from the first of what i expect to be many nights in the big beautiful world of disney.
wow.
i realized that i get to do for free what people pay hundreds of dollars to do
wow.
i realized that even in lines, which i hate, i can still keep a smile on my face.
i'm beginning to realize that i don't completely hate the humidity.
i'm beginning to realize just how great this all is.
minus the getting up at the butt crack of dawn. that i could do without.

wow.
i just realized how lucky i am to have this opportunity, how exciting this opportunity is, how great the next seven months of my life are going to be, how awesome my this is. aggh. it's a lot to handle. for real.

all i know is that i'm excited, and i finally realize just how great this all is.

wow.

swim.

it's been a busy day.
waking up, riding back to the airport, riding to the apartments, checking in, finding my apartment, dragging the luggage to the apartment, meeting the roommates, a good hour of paperwork, and of course walking back to the apartment in the pooooooooooooooouring rain. now, as i sit here in the empty apartment it's stopped. oh good. at least it's slowed down. yeah it's still raining.

i like it here. i'm still adjusting to the humidity. it's gonna take a while, but i'm getting there. the roommates laughed at me when i told them "heat, i can handle but humidity is killing me." they're from the midwest. they don't understand dry heat.

i'll be honest, the apartment i'm in is pretty close to the coolest place i've ever lived. gets me even more excited for living in the apartment in flag. but that's a ways away. i get my employee id on friday, and along with that park access! woooooo. kind of wish i had it today. i've got a thing in the morning tomorrow but other than that i'm free. weeee. it seems like it might be an all morning thing though, given the fact that my roommate had it at 3 and it's now five and he's not back. oh well. i just hope they didn't go grocery-ing without me.

i've met a ton of people already (ok, 9/a ton not the same but whatever) some of them absolutely bonkers. some of them crazy- in a cool way, some of them just plain cool. but it's an experience.

now i just hope my feet dry.

i thought it was supposed to be sunny here.

i'm in my orlando hotel.
tomorrow i move into the disney apartments.
today, it poured rain.
i think that hindered my enjoyment of my downtown stroll.

it's a good feeling.

"here, you can be anything,
and i think that scares you
i think that scares you"
jimmy eat world - just watch the fireworks

it doesn't. at least not yet.

just one more plane ride and it's done

the abq intl sunport is great, it's got...chairs.
ok, so maybe 2 hours was a little excessively early to get here.
now we wait.

i'm about to lose 2 hours in the time zones. that should be fun.
oh well. i'm ready to go.

let's do this.

do you believe in what you want?

"spinning and spinning
do you believe in what you want?
dancing, in plastic shake up snow,
do you believe in what you want?"
jimmy eat world - believe in what you want

things happen for a reason. whether you believe in god, fate, destiny or anything, things happen for a reason. whether you accept it or not, things happen for a reason. who knows what the reason. usually you don't find clarity right away. sometimes it takes months for something to make sense.

it's beginning to seem like this is the right way.
and i know, come tomorrow night when i go to bed in my orlando hotel, the hours of packing, the months of frustration, the 25 extra bucks for the extra bag that is pretty much unavoidable at this point, the 80 bucks for luggage set, the hundred dollar plane ticket, the 76 dollar hotel night, the 20dollar shuttle ride, wrestling 3 bags and 2 carryons around an airport, hotel, shuttle, airport, another shuttle, apartment complex, moving in, and finally some rest, will all be worth it. it just might take a while to see it.

"I've got my things, I'm good to go
You met me at the terminal
Just one more plane ride and it's done"
-jack's mannequin - bruised

dancing, in plastic shake up snow.

tomorrow's my last day in albuquerque.
i'm not packed.
i'm nowhere near ready (from a stuff standpoint)
but
in two days, i'll be going to bed in Orlando Florida, for the first of many many nights there.
i've got a lot of packing to do before tuesday morning.
and when i say a lot, i mean all of it. oh well. i work better under pressure.

simple pleasures

Goodbye Sky Harbor + iTunes Visualizer (set to full screen) = saturday morning Bliss.

again, i shall ask you this once again,
he said, i am but one small instrument
do you remember that?

but i don't need a witness.

"i'm alive,
but i don't need a witness
to know that i survived
i'm not looking for forgiveness.
i just need light,
need a light in the dark as i search for the resolution"
-jack's mannequin - the resolution

ok, so maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration. my life was probably never in real danger. although it did seem that way for a bit. (let me explain: my friend wes and I go on an annual hike to sort of close out the summer, and seeing as i will be in florida at the actual end of the summer, we had to do it early) but when we hit the highest point we'd hit, the danger, whether it be fictitious or factual, didn't seem to matter. as we looked over at the sun hitting albuquerque in the mid morning, it all sort of hit. light, dark, resolution. it was a good hike. i'm still a little tired from it. but it's a good tired.

in 4 days i head to florida.
i figure any of you who read this know that, but i just like to point it out.

be patient, i am getting to the point.

"I can't remember when the earth turned slowly
So I just waited with the lights turned out again
I lost my place but I can't stop this story
I've found my way, but until then
I'm only spinning
Spin beneath the rooftop
Hold on, wait until the room stops
Spinning"

it would be nice if the earth would turn slowly. at this point in a week i will be in Orlando Fl, well in all honestly i'll probably be asleep in a hotel in Orlando, but the point is i'll be in Orlando. but first, i've got another 6 days in albuquerque. part of me wishes i was just going to Orlando tomorrow. but the other part of me knows i'm nowhere near ready. i'm not even currently wearing pants. (Edit: moments after i wrote that, i put on pants to work on laundry, but felt it was important to convey my lack of readiness.) but here's the thing. i'm ready. maybe not fully, but i'm ready. it's amazing. after the year i had, it'll be good to go away. it'll be good to leave familiar in the rear view mirror, or i guess, more accurately, down on the ground (since i'll be flying, not driving) and strike out toward new, toward exciting, toward different.

who knows what will happen. i don't. maybe that's what i'm so excited about. brand new. it's like the first day of school. i know i keep making that simile. but it is.

it'd be easy to sink,
but i think i'm ready to swim.

ahhhhhhhh here it goes, here it goes, here it goes, here it goes again.

"I've got a feeling '21
Is going to be a good year.
Especially if you and me
See it in together."
- the who, 1921.

it's that simple.

break from the mold

or i guess more truthfully: back to my old ways:

i just watched XMEN 3: the last stand.
Ellen Page, of Juno fame, is in that movie.

that just blew my mind.