the semester that could have been.

"and you like the way this story goes
cause the sun still burns the shadows out
and there's nothin to complain about now.

and if this is our destiny i'd treasure the fact,
i'd give you what's left of me if i held back
but i don't need a soul
no i don't need a soul to hold."
i don't need a soul, relient k

too many times things change before we get the chance to really see them through. things come up, events shift our perspectives, we get busy. a year ago, the course i thought i was running was slammed into by life. Suddenly, a whole new road opened up. a new path. a journey. an escape. an adventure. whatever you want to call it.

"and if the nightmare ever does unfold, perspective is a lovely hand to hold."
part of it - relient k

i think part of the reason i left was to gain some perspective. to escape what i'd grown used to, grown tired of. to renew the vigor i had once felt. florida delivered on that. it made me miss what i'd left, and re-consider what once disappeared.

"hangin on, here until i'm gone, right where i belong, just hangin on"
february stars, foo fighters

now, i find myself a year removed from that change of plans. right back where i was from the start. living in the semester that could have been, but wasn't meant to be. i can't however, forget the past year. it wouldn't be fair to me and everything that happened. for now, i'll just sit here and just hang on.

murky.

have you ever noticed how a puddle looks clean, until something stirs it up. something disturbs the tranquil clarity of it all, and it suddenly becomes cloudy, dark, and even dirty. it's funny to think how similar we are to those puddles sometimes. everything we know is all clean, clear, and easy to see through, but then, without warning the clear goes away. change comes, things are shifted, and suddenly what seemed simple, translucent, and obvious becomes cloudy, confused, opaque.

eventually, the dust settles, and the calm resumes. it's just a matter of waiting out the calamity.

i'm HOME!!!

breaking from my mostly serious style, i just have to throw out a great big, HELL YEAH to the fact that i'm sitting here on my own computer in my own little room with my great big bed.

home.

Do You Believe in What you Want (III)

7 months ago, i packed up everything into 3 suitcases, a carry on and a laptop case. if you've read my blog, you know this already. 7 months ago, i set sail away from the comfort of experiences i'd had and into the stormy waters of the unknown.

7 months later. i'm glad i did. i can say that with the fullest confidence. say that i would not trade a moment of this for anything in the world.

now it's time to move on. to pack up the past 7 months of my life into those same 3 suitcases, one carry on and a laptop bag, and start the next chapter of this great big adventure we call life.

welcome 2o1o.