a moment of thanksgiving.

this year: Today: i'm thankful for friends. family. even though they're both far away. they're there. food. Even though it won't be mom's cooking. a table to eat off of. even though it won't be home. opportunities. Those who serve. in any manner. a streets shift for thanksgiving. the new, the old, and everything in between. but most of all. I woke up this morning. and that's something to be thankful for everyday. what's yours?

maybe i've been the problem.

maybe I've been partly cloudy,
maybe I'm the chance of rain
Maybe I'm overcast,
and maybe all my lucks washed down the drain

switchfoot - stars

the past couple of days, have reminded me of how much i like it here. how great it was at the start. how awesome it actually can be. it's not always. nothing is. I've got a couple more months here. it boils down to about six weeks. I'm so excited for that time to be done. to go back to home. and my second home. to friends in the same apartment, down the street. to family a 5-6 hour drive away. to cold. (oh how i miss thee cold.) to school. to having my own room even if it is just a loft. (true for both places.) i'm excited to see the faces, the places, the things, i've grown to miss.

but.

i'm not done here yet. i've still got some time left. i'm absolutely going to make the best of it. space mountain just re-opened (mostly) and i've heard that the holiday fireworks here are astounding. besides, i'll be working a bunch. and doing hw. and hopefully having a social life of some sort.
people keep saying i'm gonna miss it. i've met a lot of people here. i realized that today. and while, most of them i know, only through work, it's still nice to know people here and there.

i'll be working a lot soon. working just about every day for a while including, christmas, new years, and thanksgiving. which, shit, won't be easy for me. i've spent everyone of those with family. (or friends close enough to be family) for my entire life. but i guess this is part of growing up. thanksgiving would have been different anyway. my brother and his wife are going to start making their own traditions, and reasonably so. my mom and dad are going to be on a cruise. i'm going to be here in florida. it's gonna be weird to be working it. never done that before. I'm talking to bryan about it. thanksgiving 2009, will be unlike any thanksgiving before, and with all likelihood unlike any thanksgiving that follows it. but who knows. maybe things will start that last as personal traditions. because that seems to be the theme this year. i'm not gonna sulk/ i'm gonna do my best not to sulk. that's not productive.

i've got two more months. i'm gonna do everything i can to enjoy them. to let it be what it is, but also do my best to make it what it can be.

alone and i'm in between

"when you're older,
you might understand
then again,
maybe you don't
then again,
maybe you won't"
-trust me, the fray

it's been 4 years.

it's been four years since Daniel Parker Brown took his own life.

i know it's a small gesture. but i miss you buddy. even four years later.

turn yourself around and come on home. . .

"somethings in this world
they don't make sense
somethings you don't see until they leave you
they're the things that you miss you say
baby baby baby when all your love is gone,
who will save me
from all i'm up against out in this world,
and maybe maybe maybe
you'll find something that's enough to keep you,
but if the bright lights don't recieve you
turn yourself around and come on home."
-matchbox 20, bright lights

it's good to be home.
and it's even better to know that home is gonna be there.

tomorrow

at this time, i will be back home.
i'd write something insightful, wordy, and heartwrenching,
but right now, i'm just excited.

and i'm just gonna go with that.