i just might get some sleep, tonight.

lately,

i've got nothing to say. so why say it? i don't know. i keep trying to write something. i'm going in circles with it, but getting no where. i don't know. and that's alright. nobody says you have to know, nobody says you have to be able to explain everything.

my room is a mess. my homework, is begging to be finished, but not actually being done. my body is screaming at me to get some sleep, yet i'm sitting here at 12:37 in the morning, writing this. and knowing myself, i'll wake up and force myself to run way before i need to wake up. then goof around on the internet. then go to school, then work my ass off on hw, then maybe, just maybe clean my room. not exactly sure why i just detailed my plans for the next day out to you all, but i did.

so why am i awake?
i'm tired as hell. i need some serious sleep, it's been a couple weeks since i've had a solid night of sleep. god i miss that. i have no idea why. there's nothing i can think of that's keeping me up.

i don't own any plain undershirts anymore. threw them all away after florida. i've been surprised to find just how often i find myself wishing i had them. or at least a set of them. maybe in a week or so, when i actually get paid, i'll buy myself a set.

god, i'm a mess.

a boy looks back.

Last year, on february 14th i looked at myself. i sat back, reflected on who i was at that time, who i hoped to be, and slowly realized... i didn't have a clue.

it's a year and a day later. truly, Tim of 2.14.09, had no idea what laid ahead of him. he had no idea he'd be spending 7 months waking up in Florida. no idea that he'd drop about 80 pounds. no IDEA.

i like that actually. i've been thinking about it a lot lately. if someone were to walk up with a schedule of the next 365 days of my life, and point out everything that would happen, every person i'd meet, every bump, bruise, and spill along the way. every high, every low, everything. it would suck. granted, a little guidance as to what's coming might be nice, but it's fun to take it as it comes.

a year and a day later, i'm still single. a year and a day later, i'm perfectly ok with it, for the first time. it's not a curse. it's not a blessing, it's kind of nice. for the first time, i'm not stressed by it.

i'm sitting here, 3 months away from graduation. not really sure what's coming after it. not really sure what's coming right now actually. i've started looking for jobs. a few companies come to visit my school in the next few weeks that i could be ok working for.

in 29 days, my friend James and i will be running an 8k. i would never ever EVER have believed that that's something that's going to happen. i'm still kind of in disbelief about it. i'm also doing the spring training road trip i've wanted to do since i've been in Arizona during that same time.

bryan's been posting a lot. i'm glad he is. although, he's posting along the same lines as i've been thinking.

i've been trying to post for a while. nothing i've written has made it. i've not really been sure what i've been trying to say, and as a result, they haven't made it.

it's 2010. two days before i graduate, i turn 22. then, it's out to the real world.
all that means, is i've got a lot of life to soak up between now and then.