nobody ever had a dream round here

"but i know that i can make it
as long as somebody takes me home,
everynow and then
everynow and then. . . "
-the killers, sam's town

last night, in a night i would categorize as one of the four worst nights i have had in my disney experience, i did not step foot off of disney property until 4:06AM.
well, here's the sad, sad story of unfortunate events
1. somewhere in the night in which i was scheduled from 6:15PM - 2:45AM i lost my id.
2. somewhere around 247AM i realize i lost my id
3. somewhere around 250AM the bus we had to specially request leaves disney's hollywood studios.
4. somewhere around 3AM tim searches hollywood studios for his id.
5. around 320, tim gives up.
6. tim goes to the bus stop, praying a bus comes
7. around 324 tim calls bus dispatch
and is told that one was on the way.
8. around 354 tim calls again and says where the fuck is my bus!!!!
9. around 406AM my bus finally comes, getting me home around 435AM.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand
that's the series of unfortunate events that is my life.

the whole time i was there, waiting, i was freaking out. sitting alone, on a bench i've sat on hundreds of times, but only one other time completely alone, and never once that late, that dark that well i won't say cold, because honestly this is florida, there is no cold (which friggin blows bytheway.) i was freaking out. it was as if the entire world i was used to was gone, replaced with a dark, unforgiving wasteland.

i'm alive, unhurt, and minus the serious sleep deprivation that will define the past 2/next 2 days of my life, largely unaffected. that's my life.

in 11 days, i go home. i'm very, very excited for it. it's kind of going to be a big deal trip. the brother gets married. i get to see friends and relatives that i haven't seen in months, some in years. i get to go back to cold weather, green chile, and hopefully at some point, the happy little house at 9 tablazon lane, where i spent so many years growing, living, sometimes doing nothing more there than sleeping (aka the last 10 days i spent in albuquerque.) what's odd about this trip is that, when i think about it, during the last 3 years between school's starting and thanksgiving i saw my family so very sparingly. maybe a visit for family weekend, and of course a trip for thanksgiving. but where this is different, is i've been here since may. usually between finals in may, and opening day in august, i'm spending a ton of time with my family. seeing them all everyday. ok, maybe not all of the fam, but seeing the fam on the regular. when i decided to go to florida, i threw that all out the window. i've seen my mom and my sister for a total of 3 days since i've been here, haven't seen my brother or father in months. i've talked to both of them, but talking only gets you so far. i think that's part of why i'm so excited about going home. i could literally sit here and list every reason i'm excited to go home, but it's nearly two thirty, i'm tired, plus, i don't really think anyone wants to read that. I am a little nervous though. i've lost a lot of weight since i was last seen by my family. i want someone to comment. i know it's shallow, i know it's petty, but i want someone to make a statement like "wow, you look great" or something like that. damn it that's vain.

i'm also nervous about leaving home. my mom cried when she dropped me off at the airport back in may. it was hard to leave. now, going home with the end in sight, but the hardest part still ahead of me, it's gonna be hard to come back. it's gonna be harder to get on that plane than it was back in may, it's gonna be hard for me to do.

but i know that i can make it, as long as somebody takes me home every now and then.