i've gotta stop believing what tv tells me.

why is it that tv can take the most difficult things and make them easy.
why can't i have that power.

if my life were a tv show. she wouldn't have to leave. she would toy with the idea of leaving but then, fearing no possible consequence, give up the huge opportunity and come back.
but it's not.
if my life were a tv show, we would have gotten that first kiss after the first date. i don't think right away. i think i'd have sat in my car, and toyed with leaving but then ran to catch her before she went in the door.
but it's not.
if my life were a tv show, i could get in my car, drive two hours down there, with one purpose and one purpose only, to kiss her. no worry about the fact that i have to be at training at 8 in the morning. no worry that at some point on the trip i'd have to fill up. no worry that i'd be getting there at around 2AM and back here around 5AM.
but it's not.
if my life were a tv show, she would have showed up that day she left. waiting for me.
but it's not.


and i guess i have to accept that.